Learning the basic first date rules may ensure that she remembers you as a cordial and thoughtful gentleman, but it won’t help much in the way of actually passing the time. And no matter what kind of activity you have planned for your meeting, what she’s most likely to remember about it will be your head-to-head chats.
Part of what makes a woman want a second date is an engaging, natural conversation on the first one. Don’t know where to begin? Have no fear. The following ten tips will keep the conversation flowing smoothly.
1. Avoid her romantic past
One should never ask about past lovers on a first date. In fact, this should be avoided until she initiates the topic (if she ever does). She might have been hurt or she may still be in love with her ex. It’s best to start with a clean slate.
2. Brothers or sisters
Usually, a safe topic of conversation is asking about siblings (don’t ask her if she’s got cute sisters). Again, asking about her parents could backfire if they experienced a divorce or separation, especially if it happened when she was young. But sisters and brothers usually trigger good feelings and score points for you since you’re showing a caring side and an interest in her family life.
A tricky way to spark a girl’s interest is by asking about her past travel destinations and where she plans to travel in the future. This provides both people with some insight into each other’s interests, cultural background, and openness to new adventures.
4. Drinks and food
A good topic for conversation, especially if the date is taking place at a restaurant or bar, is the kind of food and drink each of you likes. Again, not only can you gauge whether or not you share culinary preferences, but the potential topics are endless and provide you with a safe topic of conversation.
5. Past education and future plans
Asking a girl about her past education and whether she intends to return to school is admittedly risky. She might love to go on and on about her numerous academic achievements, or she might break down and admit that her current job has absolutely nothing to do with what she studied. In either case, you are provided with a golden opportunity for a thought-provoking discussion.
If you are years removed from your college days, then talking about work and career goals just might be a safer topic. Admittedly, you should not let her go into the mundane details about how fed up she is with her life. But generally speaking, people like to brag about work, no matter how routine it is. It also gives you an idea regarding whether or not you are dating a future CEO or a waitress for life.
Ask her about her friends. Even if you do not know them, she will love to tell you about her circle of friends, how much they mean to her, and where she met them (and all of the things they did together). Don’t doze off, though; this is when you get precious details about her via the kind of people she surrounds herself with.
8. Free time
Does she do yoga or dance? How about sports? What kind of music does she like? These are the questions you must ask to determine how much of a bond exists between the two of you. Moreover, you will gain some insight into potential follow-up questions.
9. Weekend plans
By sharing your typical weekend leisure plans, you will get a clearer picture of what life with her would be like if you were hanging out on a day-to-day basis. By not specifically including her in your plans, you are also sending mixed messages; you are showing that your private social life is a priority, which is not entirely bad at first.
10. Be bold and look ahead
If her body language is positive, you can look ahead and talk about other things you could do together in the future. Admittedly, you do not want to rush too far ahead and scare her off, but if she’s enjoying herself, chances are she’ll be curious to see what other great adventures you have in store for her.